I never thought myself popular in middle school, or in high school. I was always one of the weird ones. I spent part of high school among the Beautiful Ones, yes, but I was always gawky (then again, who in high school wasn’t?), uncomfortable and… weird. Always a little out of place among the Beautiful Ones. Even at uni, I wouldn’t have counted myself mainstream. But I wasn’t really on the sidelines, either. Most comfortable on the fringe, but not fringey enough for the people who really lived there. I kind of hovered somewhere in between. My own little world.
Bitter disappointments, bitter cold nights. I spent a lot of time brooding, as teenagers do. When I got older, I began to “contemplate”. The term to use was “reflect”. But it was all the same thing, really. Little did I know that I was on the hunt for Truth and Beauty.
Some people are surprised when you speak to them. They seem a bit shocked at your smile. Sometimes, they just sort of sit, dumbfounded. Most of the time, they smile back, their eyes a-crinkle. You share a few words about the weather with strangers, exchange a few awkward phrases with the kid in the class who’s reading The Shadow Rising too, smile a quick thank-you to the old wrinkled woman who’s just sold you a piece of candy for a buck.
Don’t piss on peoples’ dreams, don’t piss on their realities.
Because there is something truly beautiful in the ground-up heart of youth, on the blackened brow of the hopeless, beneath the stained souls of the broken. More beautiful than pristine white banners fluttering proudly against a clear blue sky from shining marble towers.
It’s hope.
Not just any hope, though. Hope that’s borne from the ashes of burnt up dreams, hope that’s seen the bottom, hope that’s ever been on the outside looking in, hope and… happiness. When you realize that it’s okay, that it’s you – you’re right here and right now, and it’s okay.
I’ve found that that kind of hope and happiness is embodied in four solid pieces of music that I knew growing older (I would never presume to count as a grown-up at this stage…) that speak to kindred hearts. Anthems or not, I am willing to bet that these songs have inspired an old heart, stayed the hand of a young one, sparked the fire of one that had thought it had ceased to even know how to beat. Sadly, I’m also willing to bet there are at least as many people who wouldn’t, and couldn’t carry on.
I remember feeling low / I remember losing hope / I remember all the feelings and the day they stopped / We are all innocent / One day / You’ll have to let it go / One day / You stand up on your own
Innocent – Our Lady Peace
It’s amazing / With the blink of an eye you finally see the light / It’s amazing / When the moment arrives that you know you’ll be alright / It’s amazing / And I’m saying a prayer for the desperate hearts tonight
Amazing – Aerosmith
Walk on / What you got they can’t deny it / Can’t sell it or buy it / Walk on / Walk on / Stay safe tonight / And I know it aches / And your heart it breaks / You can only take so much
Walk On – U2
And the timeless classic…
And when the night is cloudy / There is still a light that shines on me / Shine until tomorrow / Let it be
I believe in love.
* * *
For two amazing people that I have never met…
Zoe Belle – may you have found happiness at last
RJ – thank you for your dream
…the citizens of Fringeville and surrounding areas – come, gone and still in my life – with whom I’ve had the privilege of sharing smiley moments…
…and a whole nation of amazing person.
The citizens of Bazakistan – Our own little world.
* * *
“Remember… The light at the end of the tunnel may be you. Good night, folks.”
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